Marriage Insurance #2: Don’t Have Sex

by mike on July 10, 2012

After discussing the first type of “marriage insurance” last time, it is time to move on to the next piece of advice for giving your marriage the best chance of success.  Don’t have sex.  Not if you’re already married, of course.  However, if you are not married yet, then wait.  I know, it is the same advice you have heard for years, but it is true.

Some studies have shown that a couple who enters a marriage having premarital sex are three times more likely to get divorced.  Wow!  That is nothing to sneeze at.  There are many, many studies showing similar results: have sex before marriage and you run a statistically higher probability of divorcing than if you do not.  In fact, I found a  list of studies.

So, what happens if you’ve already crossed that bridge, so to speak?  Mandy and I always suggest to the engaged couples we work with to stop.  That’s right, stop as of now.  Seek forgiveness and seek chastity.  Your wedding day should be special.  It should be much more than a party to invite all of your friends and family to.  It is the commitment of your total self to your spouse.  What is the point of consummating your marriage vows by physically giving yourself to each other if you have already been doing that (the physical act that is) for months or years leading up to that day?  Make it something special.

To those of you who have taken the courageous road of living a chaste life and are engaged or dating: keep it up!  Unfortunately, there are not that many people who choose this path these days.  Most surveys show it to be about 5% of people getting married are virgins.  It may not be easy, but I like the idea of your marriage being 3 times more likely to not get divorced.

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