Are There Really Only Two Options For Your Marriage?

by mike on March 7, 2012

Mandy and I began reading the book Rocking the Roles by Robert Lewis and William Hendricks.  It is a great book about how important roles are in marriage.  After all, if neither spouse knows what they are supposed to be doing, it is going to be chaos.  Unfortunately, many marriages today face that chaos.

The first section of the book discussed how we got to this chaos.  This got me thinking about our need to see things as one extreme or the other.  For example, we often believe (mistakenly) that the only types of marriage are the traditional model of the 1950s (think “Leave It To Beaver”) or the current roleless marriage where husband and wife are exactly the same.

First of all, men and women are NOT the same(there, I feel better)!  We are certainly equal, but equality does not mean that we are exactly alike.  I think of Mandy’s contributions to our family and our marriage.  They are truly invaluable.  Are they the same as mine?  No.  I would like to think that she sees my contributions to our family and marriage as invaluable as well.  One of us is not above the other, but we don’t even come close to approaching are marriage in the same way.

It really is sad to me that many have come to a place where defining roles in marriage has a negative connotation.  I understand why.  For years, husbands have not truly led their families.  Sure, they may have controlled, but that is not true leadership.  On the flipside, women (especially in recent years) have often made men feel like they were an unnecessary part of the equation of a successful family life.

My hope and prayer is that Christian families begin discovering what a true biblical marriage looks like.  It’s probably not what you think.  As we continue to read through this book, I look forward to sharing with you my thoughts about how we can all become better spouses within our roles as husbands and wives.

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