113 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-Honesty, Faithfulness, Compassion, Forgiveness, & Holiness
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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we discuss chapters 8-11 “Honesty”, “Faithfulness”, “Compassion and Forgiveness”, and “Holiness” from the book “Boundaries in Marriage” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
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Financial infidelity is a huge problem in marriages
*Whether it’s misleading about amount of debt, timeliness of bills, or things bought: you must be honest with your spouse about your current state
*The act of lying is always worse than what you are lying about to start with
*Think about if you are honest about all of the following things with your spouse: feelings, disappointments, desires (likes and dislikes), hurts, anger, sex, sins, failure, needs, and vulnerabilities
*Not being honest about resentment building is one of the most dangerous things you can have in a marriage
*You will have a deeper intimacy in your marriage the more you know them, really know them: which comes from honesty
*Being honest with each other also takes a ton of grace, openness, and forgiveness
A faithful spouse is one who can be trusted, depended upon, and believed in, and one in whom you can rest.
*Being faithful is so much more than just not physically cheating on your spouse
*It can be doing what you say are going to do, coming home when you say you are going to, staying within the budget you agree upon, as well as staying sexually faithful
*Emotional affairs are just as dangerous: it could be a person, an addiction, a hobby, etc. that can get in between you and your spouse
*Often a spouse will say, well if he would have or wouldn’t have done this or that, then I wouldn’t have been unfaithful. One person commits unfaithfulness, not two!
*If you ever have feelings of justification that an affair would be an ok idea, run to a trusted friend and allow them to talk sense into you!
A marriage must value compassion and forgiveness
*Your spouse will fail you, 100% for sure!
*You have two choices when your spouse screws up: beat them up for it or love them out of it!
*Act with humility toward your spouse when they sin. You are certainly not better than them as you have your imperfections as well
*You can have more empathy toward your spouse if you are in tune with and acknowledge your own sins
*The person who failed must show a sense of forgiveness and a willingness to change
Imagine how amazing your marriage would be if both were on a constant pursuit of holiness
*Someone should pursue holiness for their own sake, not just to win back a spouse they have wronged