110 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-What Do You Value?

by mike on February 27, 2013

110 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-What Do You Value?

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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we discuss chapter 5, “What You Value Is What You’ll Have” from the book “Boundaries in Marriage” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

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What you value happens in your marriage and what you don’t will be absent

*Your values are the ultimate boundary in your marriage

*If you value honesty in your marriage, then you will not tolerate anything that violates honesty and we will also actively seek to build honesty in our marriage

The worst possible value in any relationship, especially marriage is your happiness!

*I really hate to burst your bubble here, but if that what it is all about, you are not ready to be married.

*A couple will continue to be more happy in their marriage after they go through a bunch of crap together.  The crap isn’t “fun” and you won’t be “happy” all the time, but true joy will be the result of going through it together

*The truth is that when we are not happy, something amazing may just be happening.

*That’s why if happiness is always the end all, be all, we will never have a successful marriage (or life for that matter)

*When you run into a problem in your marriage, it will be an opportunity of great growth which will ironically cause a deeper happiness (what I call joy) when you obtain that growth

*The paradox is that the more you seek after and obsess over happiness, the more it will elude you

Six values that will help you build a marriage that lasts:

1) Love of god

2) Love of Your Spouse

3) Honesty

4) Faithfulness

5) Compassion and Forgiveness

6) Holiness

“There are two kinds of people in this world: those who focus on what they want, always desiring it and never attaining it, and those who focus on what it takes to obtain what they want.  The latter do the work, delay the gratification, make sacrifices, and ultimately get the rewards of their work.”

Focus on cultivating the garden instead of demanding the fruit

This advice is perfect for marriage and it is also perfect for your finances!

Would you like to work with Mandy and Mike one on one?  Check out the Beyond Your Wedding Day Marriage Prep Course.

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