091 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-Infertility

by mike on August 15, 2012

091 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-Infertility

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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we discuss the seventh chapter of the book “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West, “I Do…But Not As God Intends”.

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 –The author presents seven questions that are extremely interesting to ask yourself and to put serious thought into when thinking about the topic of “reproductive technologies”

1) Are we the masters of human life?

2) Is a child a gift from God?

3) Can a gift be demanded?

4) Do couples have the right to children at any cost?

5) Do couples have a “right” to children at all?

6) Are we free to determine what is good and evil?

7) Are God’s commandments meant to bring us happiness or keep us from it?

-What could possibly be wrong with technologies that are intended to bring life into the world, especially with the Church being so pro-family and pro-child?

*It actually lines up exactly with what the Church teaches on contraception.  The bottom line is that sex and babies should never be separated.

*If a technology assists in conceiving a child within the context of marital sex then it is certainly ok and even applauded

*But, if it replaces marital sex in order to conceive, then it is a major problem.

*The separation of conception and marital sex can lead to the following evils
-masturbation (as a means to obtain sperm)

-“excess” human lives that are either destroyed or frozen for “use” later

-the trafficking of gametes

-insemination of unmarried women which leads to all of the problems that arise with fatherless children

*a child should never be viewed as a product to obtain, but instead a person to love

*It is extremely tempting for couples to use a “quality control” mentality when they are paying thousands for a new baby

-Is the Church saying children conceived from these technologies aren’t created by God, or aren’t made in his image?

*no person would exist without God willing them to life

*but, that doesn’t mean he wants us to use these methods (just like a child born of rape or incest)

-We play God every time we have surgery or take medicine.  What’s the difference with these reproductive technologies?

*The key is working within God’s plan using technology and medicine to save a life or restore health.  That’s much different than trying to become the “creator” of life.

-Why is adoption acceptable: it’s not the fruit of the parents’ union?

*Providing a loving home for a child who already exists is massively different than manipulating a child into being

-Wouldn’t it be a loving thing to be a surrogate mother for a friend or relative who cannot concieve?

*It is never loving to participate in someone else going against God’s will.  Instead, pray for the couple and encourage them to learn the Church’s teachings on this topic

-Didn’t God call for us to have dominion over nature?

*He called for us to have dominion over animals, that does not extend to dominion over humans.

-What’s wrong with unmarried women having children if they long to do so?

*First of all, no matter the circumstances, the procedures are wrong, period.

*Secondly, it can only be seen as a self-serving act for a woman to choose to have a child without a father.  It’s one thing for the father not to be involved through no fault of the mother’s own, it’s another to choose to have a fatherless child.

-It’s terribly cruel for the Church to deny a loving married couple the joy of having a child when they so desperately want one.

*Again, the couple’s desire does not change the fact that it is immoral to create a human life artificially.

*Children are gifts from God, they are not something that anyone is entitled to or can demand.

*A couple is encouraged to do everything to make the conditions as favorable as possible to conceive within the marital act

-So what is a couple supposed to do if they can’t conceive?

*The first step is to take an NFP class.  That way they can learn the cycle and ensure they are trying during the fertile part of the month.

*If, after six months of being sure you are trying during the fertile times, you are still not pregnant, then contact the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Reproduction.

*Ultimately, if it is just not happening, adoption is a great option.

-Is it ok to masturbate in order to check sperm count?

*No, the ends does not justify the means.

*You can capture sperm using a “perforated condom”


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