081 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-To Work Or Not To Work
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We announced that we are having our 4th baby! It reminded us of the episode we recorded right after we had our youngest, Leah.
Chapter 24 Forget-Me-Nots
-Mothers working outside the home is an extremely hot topic
-Scripture never really addresses women working outside the home (it certainly doesn’t forbid it)
-The bottom line question to ask yourself is if you are fulfilling your core role as “husband-lover” and “child-lover”
*there are certainly women who stay home that neglect these responsibilities as well
-Much evidence has shown through study after study that children who are in daycare the first three years of their lives will have deficiencies in their growth (relationally, intellectually, etc.)
*it is vital, especially in the first year, for a child to bond with one single caregiver
Chapter25 Seasons Of Life (Specifically, the seasons of parenting for women)
-Just Married, No Children
*this is a wonderful time for a couple to really get to know each other before children enter the picture
–Preschool Age Children
*this is the truly amazing time in a child’s life from birth to the beginning of formal schooling. This is THE most vital time of development for anyone!
-Grade School Through High School Children
*the child starts forming relationships outside the home (friends, teachers, coaches, etc.)
*this is the preparation period for them leaving the home and making it on their own
-Young Adult Children
*this is a transitional phase from high school to full time work
-The Empty Nest
*kids still need parenting when they are adults and grandkids needs grandparenting
-The bottom line about women working outside the home is the following:
1) God expects you to fulfill your core role, whether you go to work or not
2) providing for your family’s basic financial needs is the husband’s core role, not yours!
3) employment is more appropriate during some seasons of life than others
-Some words of advice:
*save the wife’s income early in the marriage (the just married, no children phase)
*make your major financial decisions (vehicles, home) based on one income
*avoid debt (vehicle, CC, student loan!)
*consider working some from home (either wife or husband or both)
Chapter 26 Gifting Your Child’s Marriage
*every year, more than 1 million children under the age of 18 watch their parents divorce
*many studies have found terrible long term affects on these children
*the problem is there are some terrible “marriages” that stay together and give our children a horrible example of what a marriage should be as well
-I have never understood the argument that is it better for a couple to divorce or stay married and be a terrible example: HELLO, there’s a third option, have a great marriage!!!
-We recorded an episode with John and Diane, an amazing story of a marriage coming back together!
*it is the parents job to teach their children the how-to’s of life. If not, it will lead to anger and resentment
*They especially should be taught how to be a good husband or wife. Teach them about the opposite sex and how to relate to them
-Help them notice and understand the differences between men and women
-Teach them how to meet the needs of men and women (since they are different)
-Teach them the Biblical roles of marriage
-Teach them that they need God to help them
*You can’t just tell them these things, you must teach them with your actions
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