039 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-How To Love Someone You Have Grown To Hate

by mike on June 28, 2011

039 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-Love Is A Choice

Click Play Below

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we continue our discussion on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We discuss chapter 9 entitled “Discovering Your Love Language.”

Mandy and Mike discuss how and why they failed miserably at the “Love Tank Check Game.”

-“I just don’t love her/him anymore”

*this is a statement often used by someone whose love tank is empty

*it most often is due to buying into the emotional high of “in-love” and not choosing to love after that

*it definitely means that your spouse has not been speaking your love language and probably vice versa

*often, a husband or wife is not willing to leave the marriage until they have found their need for love elsewhere

-there’s a difference between actions and emotions

-if your spouse’s love language doesn’t come naturally to you, so what?

-it will be a greater show of love to speak your spouse’s love language if it is difficult for you

Why do you think that speaking your spouse’s love language when it isn’t natural for us is so fundamental to a healthy marriage?

love is not the answer to all of our problems or concerns, but it provides the foundation to explore those problems/concerns without fear

-“we’re like roommates”

*the key to emotional love being reborn in a marriage is to begin speaking each other’s love language, plain and simple!

-is it possible to love someone you have grown to hate?  Here’s a process/experiment to try if your marriage is in deep trouble for 6 months:

*Ask how you can be a better spouse, and regardless of the other’s attitude, act on what he or she tells you.  Continue to both seek more input and comply with those wishes with all of your heart and will.  Assure your spouse that your motives are pure.  Also do things weekly specifically related to what you can guess is their primary love language

*When you receive positive feedback you know there is progress.  Each month make one nonthreatening but specific request that is easy for your spouse.  Make sure it relates to your primary love language and will help replenish your empty tank.

*as your marriage begins to truly heal and grow deeper, make sure you don’t rest on your laurels and forget your spouse’s love language and daily needs.



I’d love to help you and your spouse or fiance get on the same page financially. Here’s how.

Right-Click Here to Download the Show

Leave a review in itunes

Previous post:

Next post: