038 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-What’s Your Love Language

by mike on June 21, 2011

038 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-What’s Your Love Language

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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we continue our discussion on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We discuss chapter 9 entitled “Discovering Your Love Language.”

Mandy and Mike discuss their Father’s Day weekend and how those holidays are good for celebrating your family and your marriage.

-males have to be careful not to assume physical touch is their primary love language just b/c they like to have sex

*if spouses speak each other’s primary love language, the sexual aspect will take care of itself

*i.e., someone with their love tank full will want to have sex with their spouse

-one of the best ways to figure out your love language is to figure out what your spouse doesn’t do that hurts you most deeply

*for example, if you find yourself saying or thinking you wish she would just show you some appreciation every once in awhile for how hard you work, then most likely “Word of Affirmation” is your primary love language

-another way is to think back about what you have nagged (or requested of if you prefer) your spouse about the most

-another way is to think about how you try to show love to your spouse

*chances are you wish your spouse would do the same for you

-So, here are the three questions to ask yourself what your primary love language is:

1) What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language?

2) What have you most often requested of your spouse? The thing that you have most requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved.

3) In what ways do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your method of expressing love may be an indication that that would also make you feel loved.

-It’s possible to be “bilingual” and have 2 love languages

*this makes it easier for your spouse b/c they have the choice of 2 different methods

-Take the Five Love Languages Profile as a way to determine as well

-there are 2 types of people who could have a little trouble figuring out their primary LL:

1) someone whose love tank has been full for a long time

2) someone whose love tank has been empty for a long time

-Mandy’s Primary Love Language: Quality Time

-Mike’s Primary Love Language: Words of Affirmation

-Play the Tank Check game

*three times per week ask your spouse “on a scale of 1-10, how is your love tank tonight?” and then respond with “what could I do to help fill it?” Then switch it around for your spouse.


I’d love to help you and your spouse or fiance get on the same page financially. Here’s how.

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