034 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-Spend Quality Time With Your Spouse

by mike on May 24, 2011

034 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-Spend Quality Time With Your Spouse

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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we continue our discussion on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We discuss chapter 5 entitled “Love Language #2: Quality Time.”

If your spouse’s love language is quality time, write a list of things that you know your spouse would like you to do with them, things they have mentioned throughout your years together

*at a minimum, do one thing on the list a month

*if you’ve been particularly bad about spending quality time, do one a week for the first 2 months

­Focused attention is important to have true quality time

*just sitting in the same room together doesn’t count as quality time

*Facebooking while your spouse is talking to you is not only not giving quality time, it’s downright self-absorbed and mean

*the activity you are doing together is not important, the time spent together is what’s important.

-if you are playing any sort of game, tennis for example, don’t get so focused on the game, focus on each other instead

Quality conversation is another way to spend quality time together

*this does not mean just talking, it means listening to your spouse well and sympathetically listening to what your spouse has to say

*most of the time, your spouse doesn’t want your advice, just wants to be understood and to know that you are with them

*some practical tips for listening

1. maintain eye contact

2. don’t try to listen and do something else @ the same time

3. listen for feelings

4. observe body language to determine feelings

5. refuse to interrupt, just listen!

You must also learn to discuss your feelings with your spouse

*this can be very hard for some, but is vital if your spouse’s love language is quality time

Dead Seas and Babbling Brooks

*Dead Seas are people who don’t like talking.  Babbling Brooks are people who constantly talk.  Many times, they marry each other

*The problem is Dead Seas eventually get tired of listening to their spouse and the Babbling Brook feels like they don’t even know their spouse

*the “daily minimum requirement” for a healthy marriage means sitting down each day and discussing 3 things that happened to each of you and how you felt about them

Do quality activities together

*the three essential ingredients for a quality activity together are:

1) at least one of you wants to do it

2) the other is willing to do it

3) both of you know why you are doing it-to express love by being together


I’d love to help you and your spouse or fiance get on the same page financially. Here’s how.

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