033 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-How To Build Up Your Spouse

by mike on May 17, 2011

033 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast- How To Build Up Your Spouse

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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we begin our discussion on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We discuss chapter 4 entitled “Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation.”

One way to express love verbally is to use compliments that build up

*try to sincerely find something to compliment your spouse on-it can kind of be a fun game

Encouraging words are another way to express affirmation to your spouse

*encourage your spouse to pursue something their interested in

*this does not mean encourage them to do something YOU want them to do, that will be seen as condemnation

*sometimes a spouse just need some encouragement from you to reach the potential they don’t think they can do

Speak kindly

*the tone in which you say something makes a huge difference

*the same words said one way will sound loving, but another way condemning

*this includes being empathetic if/when your spouse is lashing out in anger

*don’t let yesterday (past upsets) ruin today

*true, mature love means choosing to forgive: forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling

Humble Words

*requesting help or something from your spouse is different than demanding it

*an example would be “it would really mean a lot to me if we were to sit down and discuss our budget on Thursday night” versus “we have got to get your spending under control, I am going to make a budget and you are just going to have to deal with it!”

More ways to affirm

*saying positive things about your spouse when they are not around (word will get back to them and score you major points!)

*saying positive things about your spouse with him/her present is also very powerful

*try writing down words of affirmation and giving it to them



I’d love to help you and your spouse or fiance get on the same page financially. Here’s how.

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