033 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast-How To Build Up Your Spouse

by mike on May 17, 2011

033 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast- How To Build Up Your Spouse

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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we begin our discussion on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We discuss chapter 4 entitled “Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation.”

One way to express love verbally is to use compliments that build up

*try to sincerely find something to compliment your spouse on-it can kind of be a fun game

Encouraging words are another way to express affirmation to your spouse

*encourage your spouse to pursue something their interested in

*this does not mean encourage them to do something YOU want them to do, that will be seen as condemnation

*sometimes a spouse just need some encouragement from you to reach the potential they don’t think they can do

Speak kindly

*the tone in which you say something makes a huge difference

*the same words said one way will sound loving, but another way condemning

*this includes being empathetic if/when your spouse is lashing out in anger

*don’t let yesterday (past upsets) ruin today

*true, mature love means choosing to forgive: forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling

Humble Words

*requesting help or something from your spouse is different than demanding it

*an example would be “it would really mean a lot to me if we were to sit down and discuss our budget on Thursday night” versus “we have got to get your spending under control, I am going to make a budget and you are just going to have to deal with it!”

More ways to affirm

*saying positive things about your spouse when they are not around (word will get back to them and score you major points!)

*saying positive things about your spouse with him/her present is also very powerful

*try writing down words of affirmation and giving it to them

REMEMBER, WORDS OF AFFIRMATION ARE NOT EVERYONE’S LOVE LANGUAGE

 

I’d love to help you and your spouse or fiance get on the same page financially. Here’s how.

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