032 Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast- What To Do When You Fall Out of Love In Your Marriage
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In this episode of the Beyond Your Wedding Day Podcast, we begin our discussion on the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We discuss chapters 1-3 entitled “What Happens to Love After the Wedding?”, “Keeping the Love Tank Full”, and “Falling in Love.
So many people wonder what happens to love after the wedding
Usually it boils down to a spouse not speaking their spouse’s love language-the way they feel loved
The five love languages that we will discuss over the next few episodes are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
Mandy guessed that her love language is Quality Time and Mike guessed his is Words of Affirmation. We will see by the end of the book.
We discussed the question: “There would be fewer divorces if only people______?”
*Mandy said “tried”
*Mike said “went into marriage with divorce not being an option”
Every child has a love tank and if it is filled, they will behave normally, if it is empty, they will misbehave
*Mandy discussed how that has played out in her life
This idea of a tank follows us into marriage, particularly when the “in love” feeling wears off
Keeping the emotional love tank full in a marriage is as important (more important) than keeping oil in your car
Most people who marry started out with the “feelings” of falling in love when they were first dating
This “in love” feeling is believed to be the foundation of marriages: “we got married because we fell in love”
Often, our best friend or a parent notes something to us about how he/she treats us, but we think they’re crazy b/c we’re “in love”
The euphoric in love feeling lasts on average 2 years according to an in-depth study
If the in-love feeling lasted forever, nothing would ever get done in our society b/c when we obsess over someone, we can’t concentrate on anything else (studying, work, and other pursuits)
Once the obsession feeling has worn off (remember: 2 years), you will start asserting yourself more and giving your opinions which don’t always match your partner’s
Many people believe they only have two options when the love wears off: resign yourself to a life of misery or jump ship and try again with someone else
Divorce rate among 2nd marriages is 60%, even higher when kids are involved
The reality is there is a third option: pursue “real love”, an in depth love
Pursuing real, true love takes effort and discipline
I’d love to help you and your spouse or fiance get on the same page financially. Here’s how.